Waiting Around
after Walking Around by Pablo Neruda
by Trish Hopkinson
It so happens, I am tired of being a woman.
And it happens while I wait for my children to grow
into the burning licks of adulthood. The streaks
of summer sun have gone,
drained between gaps into gutters,
and the ink-smell of report cards and recipe boxes
cringes me into corners. Still I would be satisfied
if I could draw from language
the banquet of poets.
If I could salvage the space in time
for thought and collect it
like a souvenir. I can no longer
be timid and quiet, breathless
and withdrawn.
I can’t salve the silence.
I can’t be this vineyard
to be bottled, corked,
cellared, and shelved.
That’s why the year-end gapes with pointed teeth,
growls at my crow’s feet, and gravels into my throat.
It claws its way through the edges of an age
I never planned to reach
and diffuses my life into dullness—
workout rooms and nail salons,
bleach-white sheets on clotheslines,
and treacherous photographs of younger me
at barbecues and birthday parties.
I wait. I hold still in my form-fitting camouflage.
I put on my strong suit and war paint lipstick
and I gamble on what’s expected.
And what to become. And how
to behave: mother, wife, brave.
Share:
“Waiting Around” has been published in Voicemail Poems, Nasty Women Poets Anthology, Thank You For Swallowing, PoetryPasta, Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness, East Coast Literary Review, Verse-Virtual, and was originally published by Wicked Banshee Press.
This poem remains one of my all-time favorites. I wrote it before my first non-university publication and it received second place in a university contest, so this is the piece that really pushed me to seek out publication in literary magazines. I’d say in that way, it also led me to a very important step in my poetry career, which was to start my website to help other poets learn about how to get published. Today it is my most published poem and still a favorite to read at events.
....................................................................................................................................................................................
TRISH HOPKINSON is the author of A Godless Ascends (Lithic Press, 2024) and an advocate for the literary arts. You can find her online at SelfishPoet.com and in western Colorado where she runs the regional poetry group Rock Canyon Poets.